The spirit of Diwali..

Another day is gone.Well, time never stops for anyone. Days, months and years pass by before we realize. It seems to happen all so quickly.But quite a few years back during the hey days of my childhood, it never seemed to me that my life is ever gonna change. It used to feel like i am going to pass exams after exams , and rise up through piles of classes after classes.It never looked , like , one day after passing out a dozen number the whole affair is finally going to end. Indeed, the school life now seems to be the longest chapter in the book of life. And of all the things comprising the school life, celebrating the day of Diwali was an integral part of it. Yes, another day of Diwali has come and gone.Although i can still hear the crackers bursting somewhere, its practically over. But I am happy to say, that after years I really felt this day again as the day of lights and crackers. But those few years back to back during my childhood were something different.
We Bengalis treat the durga puja as the mother of all festivals we have in our culture.But i used to be just the opposite.My wait used to start just after the dashami, for Kali puja! And it was not a one day affair for me.In fact it used to stretch both before and after the real day. For me it used to mean only one thing-crackers, both sound and soundless, nothing else. And I am indebted to my parents especially my father that he never ever used to let me down those few days! Just a couple of days before the Diwali day my eyes would start glimmering at the sight of crackers in the shops. And the just the day before , no sooner than dad used to return from his office i would grab hold of two thailies(sacks), cajole my mother to give atleast RS 300 and just immediately set off for my shopping spree! It used to be the same old shop most of the years, the owner of which knew us very well. I used to start with sparklers,the Fuljharis, then go on to the Anars(my 2nd favorite),then some Charkis and finally onto my all time favorite rockets! I wished if they were a bit more cheaper so that I could buy a little more.Anyway, a 10 piece packet was well enough to satisfy my 'appetite'. And last but not the least, the chocolate bombs were a must buy obviously.With every passing yr though, they went on to become more and more invisible. Anyway, the budget would never remain within the specified limit.Dad always had to hand out atleast an extra 100 rupee note eventually.But back to home, mom never ever used to know the truth as expected!
The next day it used to be a prayer for the sun god to increase his brightness and heat more than any other normal day.The greater the sun bursts, the louder and brighter will the crackers burst! and then the wait finally comes to an end with the end of the day and start of a long night.1st the lighting of candles in every nook and corner of the house(though one yr it was all diyas) to illuminate every surrounding and then the fest begins! Showers of sparkles, from the small Fuljharis and then from the big Anars used to be the opening ceremony. Then comes the launch of rockets. My eyes would follow the full trail of it with a silent wish to see it go as high as possible up in the air! I was never a miser. But during diwali i used to become one.I would keep track of every item spent and see to it that the stock remains to stand for another one and half nights, atleast. Then it would be time to go outside and make some noise- the loud bangs from the bombs! My friends and I would go berserk, forgetting about every other thing in the world, as if that night and crackers would never end. My budget always turned out to be way too much in comparison to that of my friends.For, sometimes i had to forcefully empty the whole bag of crackers on the 3rd day so as not to let anything stretch beyond! To burst crackers on 4 successive days would have been really a foolish idea.
About 6 years have passed. And I am yet to burst another piece of cracker, let alone buy anything.In fact, I hate the sound of the loud ones now.This Diwali was no different. The thrill of indulging in those fantasies at the roof top of your own house is unmatchable to anything like that in a small narrow street by your house now.Because it is no longer your own house.The past 5 years it has been a rented house and now its a flat in a 5 storied apartment. I am no more independent as I used to be.True, the enthusiasm has died down with every year but still, if it had been my same old house I would have surely cared to spent some time with the sparkles.Anyway, I can't help it. But today I did make it a point to feel myself fresh as ever again. I spent the day in a cheerful mood, spreading Diwali wishes to as many friends I can, even some, with whom I haven't talked to for ages. In the evening I put on a brand new shirt and not so new trousers and set out for a stroll with my father. A one hour walk seemed like eternity. The lights at the balconies of virtually every building,the lit up skies, the noisy children with their noisy little crackers , looked all so familiar. I was left realizing that I could have the filled the void left by the absence of my own crackers by just enjoying the glittering night with all its brilliance all these yrs.There is actually more to Diwali than crackers.
I once felt it ridiculous to have so many festivities in our Hindu culture all round the year, giving us enough reasons to indulge in idleness over and over again.But how wrong i was! Its how we perceive the festivals is what matters. The small little joy in short intervals every year makes us keep our momentum going instead of impelling it. Surrounded by problems all around that don't seem to cease, we tend to forget about the struggle although for a single day and wake up with greater vigour the very next day to fight the odds once again I hope , I would feel the same tomorrow and keep trying to motivate myself to stand up against every possible circumstance that blocks my way!